Movie Quotes in SMK Style
by MissMy80sShows
Summary: What if our favorite movie quotes were said by one of our favorite characters? Just having a little fun! Thanks to everyone thst shared their favorite quotes!
1. Say Hello To My Little Friend

**Quote #1 "Say Hello to my little friend" - Scarface (1983)**

"Amanda, say hello to my little friend," Lee stated with a smile.

Amanda groaned as she said, "You can just put that away. I'm not interested."

"Oh, come on. We've talked about this," Lee whined.

Amanda folded her arms and insisted "and I told you I didn't want to do this!"

"Just put your hand out and hold it for a while," Lee tried. "Just hold it gently in the palm of your hand, get a good feel for it."

"Why? What's going to happen if I don't?" Amanda's eyes grew large.

Lee shrugged his shoulders, "Well, if you're too rough it could go off when you least expect it to."

"Which is another reason I didn't want to do this. It just isn't safe!" Amanda lamented.

Lee exhaled, exasperated. "It's not hard, I promise. Just relax, I'll guide you through the whole process, step by step."

"I'm sure you will, Big Guy, but I'm really not interested in learning. Not today. Maybe, I don't know, a few weeks from now we can try again," Amanda suggested.

"You're going to make me wait that long?" Lee exclaimed loudly.

"I'm just not ready to do this... not yet," Amanda reasoned.

Lee exhaled once more, "Okay, okay. When you're ready to learn to shoot you let me know." He slipped the small pistol into his jacket pocket with a heavy sigh.


	2. Show me the money!

**Quote #2 "Show me the money!" - Jerry Maguire (1996)**

"Show me the money!" Augie whispered loudly as he looked around the alley.

Lee rolled his eyes and handed him the small duffle bag, "Here, five thousand dollars all in ones, just like you asked."

Augie snatched the bag away and immediately unzipped it, flipping through the paper wrapped bundles. "Wow, Lee, man, you really came through this time," he exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, now what about that information you promised me," Lee groaned. The smell of the garbage dumpster from the restaurant was beginning to turn his stomach.

Augie nodded, "Yeah, about that…"

Lee grabbed the front of Augie's shirt and slammed him against the wall. "What do you mean 'about that'?" he snarled.

"Hey, hey, hey, Lee, buddy, come on," Augie backpedalled, his hands held near his shoulders, still gripping the bag.

"Come on, nothing. Where's the info, Augie?" Lee spit.

Augie gently pushed Lee away and ran his free hand through his hair, "I have the blueprints…"

"Where are they, Augie?" Lee snapped again as he took a step closer towards him, ready to take the bag away if Augie hesitated once more.

"I have them, I have them… in a safe place," Augie insisted. He tried to sidestep Lee to create space between them but Lee slapped his hand against the rough brick, stopping his only route. "There in my car, at the end of the alley. I didn't want to be standing out here with them waiting for you. Really, I promise," he rambled.

Lee grabbed him roughly by the elbow and began dragging him down the alley toward the small black sedan parked at the end.

"Lee," Augie began but Lee continued to pull him along. "Lee!" he tried again stopping short.

"What?!" Lee snapped as he stopped moving.

"That's not my car. My car is down this way," Augie pointed to a bright yellow hatchback parked on the corner at the opposite end of the alley.

Lee looked at the car then back at Augie. "THAT is your car?"

Augie shrugged his shoulder and nodded, "Well, yeah, what were you expecting?"

Lee rolled his eyes again and took several long strides toward the yellow eyesore. "The blueprints?"

Augie jogged along to catch up to Lee. He pulled his keys out of his pocket and they jingled along as the two men left the alley. Several minutes of silence later, Augie pulled the cardboard tube from under the backseat and handed it to Lee. "See, I told you I had them."

"And they better be worth it!" Lee snarled. As a side thought, Lee turned back and asked Augie, "Why all ones?"

"Huh?" Augie replied, confused.

Lee gestured toward the bag with a nod of his head, "All ones. Why?"

Augie laughed loudly as he said, "For the strip club, why else!"


	3. I think you just can't bear to let

**Quote #3 "I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight." - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)**

"I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight," the bouncer said to Francine.

"Listen, buster, gorgeous or not, I need to get by. I'm a federal agent and my suspect is currently schmoozing his way across the dance floor. Now if you don't mind…" Francine groaned. She was on her tiptoes, trying to look around the massive bowling ball sized head of the bouncer as she tried to manipulate her way around him but found herself in his arms instead.

The muscular man held tight as he replied, "I'm sure you are, little lady, but without any ID or the cover charge, you're not making it past me tonight."

Francine groaned again as her target was slipping out of her sight in the throngs of dancers on the floor. "Look, I'll only be inside for five minutes if you'll let me by. My ID is in my purse which is in my car. I would have grabbed everything had I known you were going to be here… along with my personal telephone number… but when my suspect got out of the cab a block back I wasn't really expecting that this is where he was going to end up. So, if you don't mind…" She tried to duck under his arm but he held her fast.

"I could lose my job," he explained calmly.

"Better your job than your ability to stand which is what's going to happen in about two seconds if you don't let me by!" she exclaimed. When the bouncer still didn't move or release her, she finally decided to take the matter into her own hands. In one swift move, she stomped his foot, kneed him in the head then pounded the back of his neck with both hands, now fisted together. As he fell like a ton of bricks, she easily sidestepped him but not before looking back one last time over her shoulder stating, "You just wouldn't listen."


	4. What we have here, is a failure

**Quote #4 "What we have here, is a failure to communicate." Cool Hand Luke (1967)**

"What we have here, is a failure to communicate," Dotty stated. Her hands were on her hips and she was staring angrily at Philip and Jamie, completely covered in mud and dirt.

"But, Grandma-" Jamie tried.

"No buts!" Dotty exclaimed, raising her hand for emphasis.

"Grandma, we were just-" Philip began but Dotty cut him off too.

"I can see what you were doing. How many times have I asked you boys to stay out of my garden?" She questioned the boys.

Jamie shrugged his shoulders as he stared at the muddy ground by Dotty's feet while Philip stammered, "We weren't in the garden, Grandma! Honest!"

Dotty cocked one hip to the side and pointed at the muddy footprints all over the brick patio. "How can you stand there, covered in mud, and tell me you were NOT in my garden?"

Jamie pointed to the trail of muddy footprints behind them, "We weren't in the garden. We were playing football with the guys down the street when it started raining."

"Then where did those footprints come from under the window? Did they just magically appear on their own?" Dotty insisted.

"Mother? Mother, what's going on?" Amanda asked as she stepped outside. She had just returned home after being out most of the day with Lee, working on a case.

Dotty pointed to the flower garden beneath the kitchen window. "My garden is practically ruined because the boys were playing around in it again. How many times do we have to remind them to stay out of my garden?" she exclaimed loudly.

Amanda cringed as soon as she saw what Dotty was pointing at. Lee had been standing in that exact spot several hours beforehand. She thought quickly as she said, "Mother, those aren't from the boys. Those are from that… that… exterminator we had come out and take a look at the foundation, remember. When we thought we were getting ants, but it turned out we weren't getting ants, they were really termites and he said to watch out because they could swarm at any time, remember?" She blinked several times and took a deep breath, hoping her mother would believe her.

Dotty bit her lip and thought for a moment, "The exterminator?"

"Yes, Mother, the exterminator was here… yesterday," Amanda said, then quickly added, "Before it rained."

Dotty narrowed her eyes and looked at her daughter and questioned, "If the exterminator was here before it rained how come the footprints didn't get washed away?"

"Because… because….the garden is under the window and the roof covered it just enough, so it didn't wash it away," Amanda suggested.

"Under the roof?" Dotty questioned. Amanda nodded enthusiastically. "Well, I suppose that sounds logical. I mean, there's the azalea bush too and I'm sure that may have covered the same area too," Dotty rationalized.

"See, Grandma! We told you it wasn't us!" Philip interjected.

"Yeah, just that dumb old exterminator," Jamie added.

Amanda frowned, "That exterminator wasn't old, and he certainly didn't seem dumb to me. He was rather nice and friendly."

"Uh huh," Dotty said. "And did you get his number?" she teased.

"Who's number?" Amanda asked, confused.

"The exterminator's," Dotty replied, a grin teasing at the corners of her mouth.

Amanda put her hand on her hip and asked, "Mother, why would I get the exterminator's number?"

Dotty put her hand on Amanda's shoulder as she laughed, "Amanda, my dear, what am I going to do with you?"


	5. I'll have what she's having

**Quote #5 "I'll have what she's having." When Harry Met Sally (1989)**

"I'll have what she's having," Francine announced to the waiter as she clapped her menu closed.

The waiter looked nervously at Amanda then back to Francine, "Are you sure, Miss Desmond?"

Francine rolled her eyes and looked at him, "Yes, Anthony, I'm sure!"

"But, um, Miss Desmond, do you remember the last time you ordered-" Anthony questioned Francine again.

"I know what I ordered, Anthony! And yes, I do remember what happened the last time, but that had nothing to do with it. Now, are you going to place my order or not?" Francine snapped.

When Anthony the waiter walked away shaking his head, Amanda leaned forward and whispered, "Francine, what happened the last time?"

"The last time, what?" Francine tipped her head to the side, confused about Amanda's question.

"The last time you ordered what I ordered," Amanda whispered again.

Francine laughed and flipped her hand to the side, "Oh, that! Well, it was a simple misunderstanding."

Amanda wrinkled her forehead and asked, "A misunderstanding?"

Francine laughed again, crossed her legs and put her hand on the table to explain. "So, I was here with a new date wearing a hot little backless number. We had just ordered our dessert and I took a bite of the same sinfulness we just ordered when another waitress accidentally dropped a glass of water. It bumped the back of my chair and well, you know how shocking ice-cold water feels running down your bare back? I guess the noises I made sounded like something else and I managed to draw the attention of everyone in the restaurant including Anthony." She punctuated her story with a nod in the waiter's direction.

"Wait, so you ordered what we just ordered, and they thought…" Amanda's eyes grew wide as realization struck.

"They thought the dessert was much better than what my date gave me later that night, I'll tell you! And my brand new, one of a kind Thierry Mugler original was completely ruined! I could never wear it again!" Francine exclaimed.

Amanda shook her head in sympathy, "Your dress was ruined by the water?"

"Oh, no! Amanda, darling, the water didn't ruin my dress. Anthony did when he dropped a full plate of spaghetti on my lap. He was so startled and from how it appears, he still hasn't recovered," Francine explained with a giggle.

Anthony arrived a moment later, carrying a tray with two molten lava cakes complete with vanilla bean ice cream and mint leaves. He placed the oozing chocolate desserts before them and took two steps backward. "Can I get you, ladies, anything else?" he asked nervously.

Amanda took her first bite and moaned loudly as she partially closed her eyes.

"Oh no! Not another one!" Anthony exclaimed. He moved away from their table quickly and ducked into the kitchen yelling, "I can't do this anymore!"

Amanda and Francine took one look at each other and burst into laughter. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" Francine asked when she finally caught her breath.

Amanda winked, shrugged her shoulders and whispered, "Maybe."


	6. You can't handle the truth

**Quote #6 "You can't handle the truth." A Few Good Men (1992)**

"You can't handle the truth!" Billy shouted before slamming his hand down on the desk.

Dr. Smyth looked up, indifferently. "William, you should really calm down. I'm sure your blood pressure is slowly creeping up."

"Slowly creeping up? Do you have any idea… any… i-dea… how long Scarecrow has been working that case? And you…" Billy pointed one shaky finger at him, "you decided the case was moving too slowly. You just might have screwed up our one true chance at getting to the bottom of this!"

Dr. Smyth took a long drag of his cigarette before replying. "I did nothing of the sort. I simply inserted another agent into the investigation to speed things along."

"Fred Fielder?!" Billy shouted. He turned his back to Dr. Smyth and worried his forehead with his hand in an attempt to calm himself down. Exhaling slowly, he turned back and slowly stated, "Scarecrow is the best damn agent we have, and you just handed him a bumbling idiot who has trouble handling his own badge. How in the hell did you think that would speed things along?"

"Word on the street says Fielder has intimate knowledge of our illusive Candyman," Dr. Smyth countered.

"Intimate knowledge? From what I understand, his wife barely has intimate knowledge of Fielder!" Billy snapped.

"Ah, ah, ah, Melrose… not so fast. From what I've heard, Mr. Fielder and the Candyman are just like this," Dr. Smyth twisted two fingers together to indicate they were close.

Billy spotted Fred Fielder entering the bullpen. He quickly crossed to the door of his office, pulled it open, and said, "We're getting to the bottom of this right now. Fielder! In my office, on the double!"

Nervously, Fred crossed the room and entered Billy's office. Billy slammed the door behind him. 'Yes, sir, Mr. Melrose. I was just bringing my report down to Dr. Smyth's office," he stammered.

"Well, I'm all ears," Dr. Smyth informed him. Fred looked to his left, realizing Dr. Smyth was sitting on the couch. "Please, go ahead and share your findings with the class. I'm dying to hear all the juicy details."

Fred cleared his throat and said softly, "I didn't find anything. I didn't even find where Scarecrow was watching any surveillance."

Billy covered his mouth in an attempt to hide his snicker. "Dr. Smyth is under the impression you and the Candyman know each other.

Fred exhaled, "Yeah, I know the candy-man. He's my uncle."

"The Candyman is your uncle? And we didn't know about this?" Billy snapped.

Fred looked confused, "It's no big secret. He's been the candy-man for years."

Billy shook his head, disgusted by the smug look on Dr. Smyth's face. "Do you know where we can find your uncle?" he questioned slowly.

Fred looked from one man to the other completely lost, "He's working where he always is. Why? Is there a problem?"

Dr. Smyth stood slowly and walked to stand beside Fred. He placed his hand around Fred's shoulders as he took another long drag on his cigarette, the head of ashes dumping unceremoniously on the floor between them as he asked, "What's the address?"

"He owns Fielder's Candy Store down on Market Street. He has for the last forty years," Fred answered in a straight monotone.

Billy immediately burst into laughter as he fell back into his chair. Gasping for breath, he managed to sputter out, "Fielder's uncle is the candy-man all right!" while Dr. Smyth dropped his hand and stepped out of the office without a word.


	7. I don't know where you get your delusion

**Quote #7 "I don't know where you get your delusions, laser brain." Star Wars (1977)**

"I don't know where you get your delusions, laser brain," Philip teased Jamie.

Jamie groaned, "I told you Mom was hiding something and I think I know what it is!"

Philip elbowed his brother out of his way as they entered the kitchen, "Mom's not hiding anything, doofus! She just works with the guy!"

"I'm telling you, something more is going on! I saw them kissing the other night in the gazebo, her hands were all over his butt! Gross!" Jamie exclaimed with a shudder.

"I'm definitely sure you were just dreaming that one!" Philip teased.

Jamie grabbed a cookie out of the jar on the counter as he insisted, "I wasn't dreaming! I saw them, with my own two eyes!"

"You mean four eyes, Four-eyes!" Philip teased again.

"Where is Mom anyway? Her car is in the driveway," Jamie ignored his comment and looked around the first floor.

"She didn't leave a note so she must be here. Maybe she's in her room," Philip suggested with a shrug of his shoulders.

Jamie ran up the stairs, two at a time as he called, "Mom? Are you up here?"

Behind Amanda's closed bedroom door, he heard several quick thumps then a panicked voice replying, "Jamie?"

Jamie stopped at the door and attempted to open it, "Mom, why is your door locked?"

"Um… I'm just… I just got out of the shower… shhh…. I'll be down in a minute. Go get a snack with your brother," Amanda's muffled voice came through the door.

Jamie stared at the door, shrugged his shoulders and returned to the kitchen where Philip was pouring himself a glass of milk. "Did you find Mom?" Philip asked.

"Yeah, she was in her room, but she was acting all weird," Jamie replied.

"What do you mean?" Philip asked before taking a bite of a chocolate chip cookie.

Before Jamie could answer, Amanda rushed down the stairs wearing her bathrobe, tightly tied around her waist. "Boys! What are you doing home so early?"

"We had a half day at school today, remember? What are YOU doing home so early?" Philip asked.

Amanda glanced up the steps then back at the boys, "I had to shower… I got something spilled on me at work. Listen, why don't you fellas ride your bikes down to the park and hang out for say… oh… I don't know… an hour maybe. Then I'll take you for ice cream. Sound good?"

"All right!" the boys replied in unison. They ran outside together, leaving the door wide open, their laughter quickly fading as they pedaled away.

"Is the coast clear?" Lee whispered loudly from the stairs. He was carrying his shoes in his hand, his shirt was still unbuttoned and hanging open.

Amanda turned and nodded, "Yeah, but I think I bought us enough time to go back up and finish what we started."


	8. I don't just want to marry you

**Quote #8 "I don't just want to marry you. I want to marry you more than anyone's wanted to marry anyone in the history of the world." The Whole Nine Yards (2000)**

"I don't just want to marry you. I want to marry you more than anyone's wanted to marry anyone in the history of the world," Beamon slurred, his arm draped around Francine's shoulders.

Francine picked his offending hand up with two fingers and ducked her head to remove his arm. "You're drunk, Beamon, just like at every other holiday party."

"Nope… I'm not drunk. I'm finally clear-headed is all," he stated, stumbling forward. He fell into a chair but managed to wrap his arms around Francine and pull her into his lap.

She squirmed to get away but stopped when she felt his hardened erection beneath her. She exhaled and quickly made a decision she hoped she would never regret. Leaning close to his ear she whispered, "If I get up now, everyone is going to see how excited you are, so just be a good boy and I won't move for a few minutes, all right." She giggled loudly, hoping if anyone was watching they would assume something different was going on.

Beamon whispered back, "Thank you, Francine. And I'm not really drunk. Just pretending."

Francine couldn't hide the shocked expression on her face, so she leaned close again and whispered, "You mean it's all an act?"

Beamon winked at her and whispered, "But even my bad acting can't hide how I feel about you. You're sitting on the proof of that."

Francine lifted her head, spotting Lee and Amanda across the room. She rolled her eyes for dramatic effect then leaned forward once more, "Then you need to get it together, Beamon, or else you're going to lose the ability to use that proof. Do you and I understand each other?"

Beamon didn't need to say a word. Less than a minute later, Francine sauntered across the room to join Lee and Amanda. "Beamon drunk again?" Lee sympathized.

"It never fails. One glass of punch and he's instantly got the hots for me!" Francine groaned.

The trio watched as Beamon staggered out of the seat and down the hall to his office. "Poor Beamon. Maybe someday he'll meet the girl of his dreams," Amanda said sadly.


	9. The only thing that separates us

**Quote #9: The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize. - Steel Magnolias (1989)**

"The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize," Leatherneck announced. He turned and reached for a zip-lock bag filled with miscellaneous items. "Take this for example. To any average American, it's their daily essentials. We've got sunglasses, a wallet, exactly one dollar and eighty-two cents in pocket change, a few credit cards and a pack of chewing gum."

He handed the bag to the first freshman agent to his right who immediately opened the bag and began to inspect the items. Leatherneck smiled, "Don't worry, it's all there. Every one of the bags on the shelf is filled with exactly the same thing. Guys bags on this side, women's purses on that side." Leatherneck pointed to a section on the shelf filled with different purses in various sizes and shapes.

"Sir, what about disguises?" a young female agent called out from the back of the small group.

Leatherneck turned and picked a backpack off a hook on the wall. "Inside here we have a variety of items you could use for everyday disguises," he explained. He pulled out a baseball cap, followed by a scarf, another darker pair of sunglasses, a short curly dark-haired wig in a net bag along with a longer, blonde wig. Last, but not least, he dropped a make-up kit on the counter. "See, it doesn't take much but one or two of these babies can be used to distract anyone following you. Pair several together and you could easily walk right by your target without them ever realizing who you are," he smiled. He looked around at the awed faces before him and asked, "Any more questions?"


	10. Nobody puts Baby in a corner

**Quote #10: Nobody puts Baby in a corner - Dirty Dancing (1987)**

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner," the suspect yelled from his prone position on the ground. One agent was currently kneeling on him, attempting to get the handcuffs on him as he squirmed.

Lee looked over his shoulder at the man and shouted, "Then tell Baby to back off!"

The agent finally pulled the man to his feet, both hands firmly cuffed behind his back. "NO! You want Baby to back off, you're gonna have to figure out how all by yourself!" the suspect sneered.

Lee looked back at the angry snarling dog in the corner. He looked around the room for anything he could distract the dog with. The agent started pulling the suspect outside and Baby immediately began barking loudly, creeping closer to Lee.

"Lee!" Amanda called from the kitchen doorway.

"Amanda! Don't move! I can't control this dog!" Lee instructed loudly. "Where the hell is that dog officer!" he shouted to the other agents outside.

"Lee, I have an idea!" she called.

He glanced at her for just a second, afraid to take his eyes off the dog in case it made any sudden movements. "What?" he asked incredulously.

"I have an idea," she said again only this time she was standing closer to him.

"Amanda! I told you to not to move!" Lee snapped.

Amanda stood behind him and before Lee could say anything else, she tossed something at the dog. To his surprise, Baby ceased barking and laid on the floor, a raw steak now between his paws. He slowly lowered his gun when he realized the dog was completely occupied and now ignoring him.

Lee looked at Amanda, "Amanda, that was great timing. How did you know that would work?"

Amanda shrugged her shoulders, laughed and said, "Well, it always works in the movies, doesn't it?"


	11. My biological clock is ticking!

**Quote # 11 "My biological clock is ticking!" My Cousin Vinny (1992)**

"My biological clock is ticking!" Lee whined to Billy as they walked along the reflecting pool on a cool, cloudy day.

Billy stopped short, "Scarecrow, did you just say your biological clock is…ticking?" He blinked several times, trying to wrap his brain around what Lee was trying to tell him.

"Yeah! My biological clock. You know, tick, tick, tick. I'm not getting any younger," Lee groaned. He slumped onto a nearby bench and dropped his head in his hands. Billy slowly sat beside him, unsure what he should say. Lee dragged his hands down his face as he straightened up to a sitting position. "I just don't know what else to do. I mean, we've been trying for months now and nothing," he cried.

Billy lifted his hand to pat Lee's leg to reassure him, but Lee quickly stood up. "Lee, you have to just give it time. It's one of those things. When it's meant to happen, it will happen," he sighed.

"Billy, you don't think..." Lee started, then stopped and sat down again and whispered, "You don't think something could be..." Lee's voice trailed off.

"With what? Just say it, man?" Billy snapped.

Lee sighed, looked around and leaned closer to Billy as he whispered, "You don't think something's not working right, do you?"

Billy narrowed his eyes at his friend, "Like what?"

Lee looked around again and looked down at his lap before whispering, "With me. I mean, Amanda's already got two kids so we know she can get pregnant. So, what if it's me? I've been exposed to how many chemicals and drugs over the past ten years. Who knows what kind of damage that could have done down there?"

Billy chuckled then quickly coughed to cover it. "I think you need to stop worrying about this. What does Amanda say?"

Lee shook his head, "That's just it, she hasn't said anything."

"Nothing? That doesn't sound like Amanda," Billy scowled.

"Well, she just tells me we have to be patient and keep trying," Lee admitted.

Billy looked watched as a young couple strolled past them before he said, "Well, maybe you're going about it the wrong way."

"The wrong way? Billy, I'm not sure of any other way to do it," Lee replied.

"I don't mean that," Billy shook his head. "I mean, maybe you need to not think about it so much. You know, have a quiet night, just the two of you. Some dinner, dancing, the whole romantic shebang."

"I don't think one night is going to make everything right, Billy. We've tried every other day, every day, only once every three days, in the morning, at night," Lee rambled.

Billy put his hand up to stop him and asked, "So, how are you getting any work done if that's all you've been working on?"

Lee laughed at how absurd his ramble must have sounded. He shook his head then said, "It sounds crazy, doesn't it?"

"No, Lee, it doesn't sound crazy at all. You sound like you are a man, who loves his wife very much and you are desperate to start a family together," Billy assured him.

Lee looked at his friend and said, "Thanks for listening, Billy."

"Well, I think I can do one better than listen. Starting tomorrow you and Amanda are on a two-week administrative paid leave," Billy decided.

"Billy, two weeks? Why?" Lee questioned.

"Because during those two weeks, you and Amanda are going to be spending time away from everyone and everything," Billy declared.

Lee shook his head, "Amanda and I can't just take off for two weeks with no explanation to her mother and the boys."

Billy stood, patted Lee's shoulder and said, "You let me take care of that part. Call it a belated wedding gift or better yet, your one-year anniversary is coming up, call it an anniversary gift."

"Thank you," Lee stuck out his hand for Billy to shake.

Billy pumped his hand several times then said, "And I have the perfect place for you two to go. Crump is in Egypt for the next month and I have the keys to his cabin. As I recall, the last time he gave you the keys, you couldn't take advantage of it, so, now it's my turn."

"Crump's cabin? You think that will do it the trick?" Lee's eyes widened at the thought.

"Fresh air, the mountains, no phones ringing, no computers spitting out information left and right. Yeah, I think Crump's cabin might just do the trick," Billy put his arm around Lee's shoulders and started walking toward the end of the reflecting pool.

Lee gave his head one sharp shake and stated, "Well, if it does happen, we'll be sure to name the baby after you."


	12. Would it help if I got out and pushed?

**Quote #12: "Would it help if I got out and pushed?" "It might." The Empire Strikes Back (1980)**

"Would it help if I got out and pushed?" Beamon asked nervously.

"It might!" Lee snapped.

"Look, Stetson, it wasn't my idea to be paired up with you tonight," Beamon replied with a heavy sigh. He looked out the passenger window, the rain pelting the glass before running down quickly.

Lee gave him an angry stare before he said, "And it wasn't my idea to chase the suspects down this road in the middle of a torrential rain storm, now was it?"

"Hey, I didn't know we were going to slide off the road into this ditch either," Beamon countered.

"I said we should back off before things escalated, but NOOOOO, you insisted we follow them," Lee's voice rose.

Beamon turned to face Lee in the small space, "And who didn't call for back up an hour ago?"

"We didn't need back up an hour ago! Nothing was happening. We were sitting tight, just watching the club. Exactly what Billy told us to do," Lee insisted.

"And when did you start doing what Mr. Melrose tells you to do?" Beamon mocked.

"When did I… Are you trying to say this is my fault?" Lee erupted.

Beamon folded his arms across his chest and grunted, "You're the driver. If the shoe fits."

"Get out!" Lee shouted. "Get out before I shoot you!"

"You can't be serious?" Beamon's mouth dropped.

The muscle in Lee's jaw twitched wildly. "Get out now, get my car out of this ditch before they find your body in it!" Lee snapped.

Beamon scrambled for the door handle and stepped out into the pouring rain. He looked skyward then back into the car to look at Lee. Lee just glared at him as the rain quickly soaked through his shirt. "Stetson, can't we just call…" Beamon whined.

Lee reached inside his jacket and unholstered his gun and aimed it at Beamon. "Push!"

Beamon slammed the door and slid down the muddy slope of the ditch. He planted his feet and began to push the front end of the car as Lee slowly depressed the gas pedal. Mud flew all around him as the car slowly inched its way backward out of the ditch. When the car finally cleared the top and was back on the solid tar of the street, Beamon opened the car door to climb back inside.

"What the hell are you doing?" Lee shouted at Beamon's muddy state.

"I'll pay for the detailing," Beamon snapped as he settled into the passenger seat under Lee's angry gaze.


	13. Did I mention I don't like you very much

**Quote 13 "Did I mention I don't like you very much?" Cheaper By The Dozen (2003)**

"Did I mention I don't like you very much?" Harry V. Thornton muttered under his breath as Dr. Smyth droned on in his sing-song monotone as he sauntered around Billy's office complaining about Lee and Amanda's latest case.

Dr. Smyth stopped short beside Harry and asked, "What did you say?"

Harry looked up at him and watched the tendrils of smoke from his cigarette swirl above his head. "I said, did I mention I don't like you very much. You are one pompous ass if you ask me."

"I didn't ask you anything," Dr. Smyth countered, clenching his teeth down on the cigarette holder.

Harry pushed himself out of the chair and stood toe-to-toe with Dr. Smyth. Harry poked one finger at Dr. Smyth's suit jacket and stated, "You act so high and mighty all the time like you've never had to make a split decision in the field." Dr. Smyth smoothed his jacket lapel without replying. "I bet you've never even been in the field. You've spent most of your career living high on the hog in some fancy Capitol Hill apartment," Harry continued.

"I'm not saying I haven't had the extreme pleasure of being the recipient of some rather lavish digs now and again thanks to the higher-ups," Dr. Smyth replied. He took a single step back to try to create space between them.

Harry countered with a step forward of his own, "And when was the last time you actually had a case of your own? I know for a fact, it wasn't when I was still here and I haven't been gone that long that an old dog like yourself could slip through the cracks of my memory."

"Harry, I think you've proven your point," Billy interjected from behind his desk.

"Not yet, I haven't!" Harry shot back. "Austin Smyth, the man who crawled his way up the chain of command without ever having stepped foot in the field. The man who pays more attention to the socialites and senators than the men and women who are truly protecting this country."

Dr. Smyth ground his teeth against the holder, his face beet red, completely speechless.

"And to add insult to injury, DOCTOR Austin Smyth, but what is that doctorate actually in? Hmm? Care to share with the rest of the class?" Harry waited a beat then stated, "No? Good, then I'll share, because your so called doctorate is in Foreign Economics."

Dr. Smyth stepped away, smoothed his tie, then said, "Well, William, I see you and Harry have everything under control with today's debacle. Be sure to tell Scarecrow and Mrs. King to watch themselves next time."

Billy stood slowly and said, "I'll pass the message along. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a staff meeting I need to attend to."

Dr. Smyth left the office quickly without further comment. Harry took one look at Billy and asked, "What staff meeting?"

Billy smiled, sat back down and said, "There is no staff meeting. I just couldn't watch him squirm any longer." Billy chuckled then added, "Although it's fun watching him on the other side of the coin."


	14. If you're not in trouble

**Quote 14 "If you're not in trouble, you're not doing your job." The Heat (2013)**

"If you're not in trouble, you're not doing your job, Lee," T.P. exclaimed just before he popped a bite of Kung Pao chicken in his mouth.

Lee rolled his eyes, "Come on, T.P., isn't that stretching the truth just a little?" He shifted from one foot the other, his hands jammed into the pockets of his coat.

"Scarecrow, you almost never come to me unless you are seeking information, of which, apparently, only I can provide. Then and only then, you have a tendency to admit you're in some kind of trouble," T.P. pronounced.

Lee looked down at his feet, "Okay, okay, maybe I am in a little bit of trouble, but it's not with work." T.P. looked up from his take out container. "Well, it might have a little to do with work, but it has more to do with Amanda."

"My, my, my, how things have changed. What hot water do you find yourself in again with your oh so lovely, Mrs. King?" he teased.

"I was supposed to help her," Lee began. T.P. snorted a laugh around another bite of the spicy chicken. "And I was going to help her, honestly. But then Billy called, and I had to run across town to pick up this real creep from the State Department."

"And where lies the dilemma, Scarecrow?" T.P. questioned. He tapped the chopsticks on the side of the box, analyzing the remaining food in the container.

"Well, I didn't get back in time to help Amanda, so now, I have to help Philip with his report for school," Lee admitted with a heavy sigh.

T.P. laughed loudly and asked, "What sort of report does young Mr. King need assistance with?"

"Well, um, I believe he said, it is on the impact of serfdom on the economic development of Russia in the nineteenth century," Lee explained.

T.P. nodded, "That's quite the mouthful. But what I can I do?"

Lee patted his friend on the shoulder and said, "Come on, T.P., you are the smartest person I know. You must have some knowledge you can share."

"I have three words for you, Lee, my boy," T.P. stated before taking another bite of the spicy chicken.

Lee folded his arms in anticipation then asked, "What's that?" T.P. picked up the last piece of chicken with the chopsticks, offered it to Lee, but Lee just smiled and shook his head. "No, thanks."

T.P. popped the piece in his mouth and washed it down with a long sip of Diet Coke before he declared, "Dewey Decimal System."


End file.
